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When Children are Involved

When you are choosing a process to protect your legal rights and achieve a settlement that addresses your goals, here are some things to consider:

  • How will the process I choose support, or detract from, my children's emotional well-being?
  • My children's loyalties will be divided between us as parents, in a Court or other adversarial process. What will the psychological impacts be on my children?
  • If I take my spouse to Court, how will my children cope with the chronic anxiety of living in a battlefield for the years it takes for a Court case to be over?
  • If I take my spouse to Court, how will my children feel about me when they are old enough to read the affidavits I filed in Court about my spouse?
  • Will the process I choose help me work more effectively with my spouse when the case is over, to co-parent our children? Or will the process drive a permanent wedge between us?
  • How can I teach my children by example that conflict can be resolved in a safe and respectful manner, while achieving effective and durable results?

Collaborative Law Benefits Your Children

  • Collaborative law insulates your children from prolonged parental conflict.
  • Children are relieved when they know their parents are solving a problem and not fighting a battle.
  • Your children can stop worrying about you and go back to their own developmental tasks.
  • In a contested divorce, your children have to live with their parents' emotional conflict for years.
  • The years of childhood lost to divorce conflict can never be regained.
  • The collaborative process will improve, not irreparably harm, your communication with your spouse. This will help you and your spouse to successfully co-parent your children into adulthood.